Everyone knows Steve as the whistleblower. They only know what he did at the Bristol Inquiry. I on the other hand know a different side to Steve. Steve and I have known each other for a while. We have spoken once on the phone. I really enjoyed the conversation possibly because he now has a Australian twang. It is one of those little starry eyed thrills for us mere mortals that you remember for the rest of your life. I don't suffer fools gladly and I call a spade a spade. There is no grey area where I am concerned. I either like people or I don't.
For me Steve has played various roles. When I was medical student and junior doctor I was convinced his work had changed the system. He was the reason I raised concerns in Stoke on Trent - because I thought the world had changed. At least that is what all senior doctors told the Bristol Inquiry. So, while I was being shot in Stoke on Trent, everyone was telling the Inquiry how much the system had changed. Not all of us are lucky enough to achieve a public inquiry. I certainly wasn't lucky at all. I chivvied away day and night digging out evidence piece by piece. Lucky for Steve, he didn't have to do this. He is the only doctor in the history of medicine to have instigated an Inquiry of this kind. I think that is something admirable and historical.
Many people know the public persona of Steve Bolsin. I know that behind all the publicity, Steve is a honest, decent and kind guy. That kind of thing is rare. It is a bit like gold dust. For many many years, I was utterly helpless. No one offered their hand out to pull me out of the cesspit I had been thrown in. Richard Smith of the BMJ didn't help at all. Instead he sent me emails crowing away about how he was a whistleblower. When that kind of thing happens, everyone wants to be a self designed whistleblower for the sake of its cosmetics.
Steve lives miles away from me but yet he was unlike every other doctor in the UK, he held his hand out to me and pulled me out of the cesspit without judging me. I am a no body. I make my business to be a no body because its important to survive without the trappings of fame or fortune which are elements that make you take life for granted. I was probably at my lowest point when I asked Steve for a expert opinion. I had complained about Professor Griffiths to the GMC in order to dig out evidence. The case kept being thrown out and the GMC kept throwing me into the same cesspit of madness they wanted me in.
Steve wrote this for me. Steve wrote this without charging me.The question the audience has to ask themselves is this - who would do this for a nobody? Well, Steve did do it - and he did it because he believed in me unlike everyone else in this godforsaken country. He still believes in me.
From this point, my fortunes turned for the better. The GMC did not take me for granted any longer. Steve wrote me an email at the time about us all supporting each other. I remember sitting in front of my laptop and crying for hours because I was so happy that someone actually helped me. I had suffered for so long and the depths of my despair was unimaginable. From that day onwards, my demeanour changed. I began to fight instead of running away. I didn't care what anyone else thought of me - as long as Steve believed in me, the rest of the world could just take a running leap.
Steve has always been there when I have called for help. He was there writing in support of me in the GMC case in 2007, he was there for me when my father was dying, he has always been there watching over me. Steve has a different style from me. He is older, wiser and more accepting of people. He has learned what I haven't learnt - to tolerate shallow people and to deal with them. I am intolerant of such things - I am not sure why but it probably comes down to my experience in the UK regarding the injustices suffered not just by me but by legions of doctors. Steve understands my flare ups or as one person called it "mudslinging" and simply accepts me for who I am. Steve has never told me what to do or how to behave or attempted to curb my free speech. He understands that each one of us has a different role in life.
I have witnessed Steve help hundreds of people who have suffered badly from the negligence of doctors. He does it freely, out of the kindness of his heart. He does it silently and he does it without the world prying into this aspect of his generosity. Steve is not just a whistleblower, Steve is a doctor who feels passionately about the truth and of justice.
For years I have felt like his parasite, I have felt that I always take from him like many others and never give anything back. I often feel victims are like emotional vampires. They are unable to give but can always take. I hated being a vampire and always asking him for things but never quite being able to do anything for him. It has plagued me for years. It is though difficult to reach out to Steve in any way because he often becomes distant or disappears for long periods of time. He isn't the kind of person you can build a proper friendship with. I have always compared him to the caped crusader. I shine the light at Gotham City and Steve saves the day then disappears.
For me, I only have fragments of his persona that I have to fit together in a jigsaw. I often feel extremely sad about how one man was allowed to leave for Australia, how his young family was forced to pack their bags and leave their homes. I often wish I was there at Heathrow begging them all not to leave - because there is a principle. The principle is this - none of us should be driven out of our homes by the medical fraternity. I think about how his wife must have felt to leave this country to travel to a distant land with her husband. It must have been devastating and heart breaking. It angers me that none of us did anything to keep him in England. I asked Professor "Shallow" Jarman this question and he didn't care either. No one cared what happened to Steve and how much it must have destroyed him to travel from his homeland to somewhere alien to him. This is what astounds me, why didn't anyone throw him a lifeline? He has thrown everyone else numerous lifelines and no one has thrown him one.
I have remained in this country but it has never been easy. It has been tempting to drive the car to Heathrow and take a plane to any other country - I haven't done it. The reason I haven't done it is because I didn't want this kind of thing to happen to another Steve Bolsin. I stay because I have no children but what does a man do when his career is shattered and he has to fend for his children? Steve had no other option. Steve and I have never spoken of these issues. I don't pry into his personal affairs at all. I do though think about him and his family to a great extent. Beau Eckland my late friend once told me that we in medicine had lost the art of caring for those that matter - for our colleagues and our friends. We had lost the humanity and the kindness that should exist in the caring profession. This country let its best doctor leave and I wish I was rich enough or important enough to bring him back to the UK.
Steve and I are from University College London. Maybe they have a petri dish there where they genetically engineer a certain type of doctor who go on to become whistleblowers. He may be more laid back than I am but we think in the same way about things. I have grown up with Steve - he has taught me calmly to keep going and never ever give up.
I owe Steve everything. As men go, he is one of the best. I say that with a great deal of respect for him and his family. Steve is not only an internationally renowned figure, he is also the kindest, most generous man I have ever known. This is why I would recommend him for the UK Honours List. I may be a no body recommending a some body but I had to do something for him. Doing nothing is now no longer an option.
I do care what happens to Steve and I never want the world to forget what he did for all of us. Some things should matter and we should fight to bring Steve back to the UK - it may not happen this year but it will happen one of these days. It is called faith.
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Written for Steve in gratitude for everything he has always done for me in the last decade.
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