Hostile Blue World

I received a very interesting comment on Ward 87. The person known in the blogsphere as Blackdog left the following message :-

"I, like you, Dr Pal was a 'whistleblower' way back in the 70's again in the 80's and once more last year. The context was somewhat less critical than yours but in some ways similar; the 'messenger' invariably gets shot! Trouble is you can't stop doing it when your integrity says something is so wrong. I lost a career and a lot of people I thought were my friends became strangers and worse; some became enemies. It is lonely and sometimes extremely depressing. If I had been less critical, more prepared to compromise my sense of righteous indignation I would have been richer and more well placed to stand the outrageous fortune that presents to someone close to retirement. But I would likely have been less of person than I am now. I know who I am and I cannot change and you come across as someone with that burning need to battle injustice wherever you see it without regard for yourself. Keep doing it, you are a shining light to me and many others in a dark and often hostile world. I often find that reading your words is the thing that urges me onwards, however difficult the terrain of life becomes. Accept my heartfelt thanks and no doubt those of many others that you are what you are"

I think this is probably the nicest and most valuable thing anyone has ever said to me. So whoever you are Blackdog - thankyou. I am honoured by the comment because it is from a person of experience and honour. There are a few prized comments recorded with me. The priceless value comes from the quality of the person making such a comment.

Most people spend their lives being someone else. They attempt to create a false sense of security by being sheep followers. I currently spent my time being myself. I think there is less effort needed in being who you are.

On occasion, I think the medical world is static. There is always a way to behave, a way to be politically correct, a way to good public relations, a way to intellectually debate issues - but very little in the way of individualism. Throughout my time in medicine, I was always asked to be someone else. I have defied that and rebelled against it. Organisations like the GMC have tried their best to rip my individualism, to make me into a clone- in line with them. As they can observe, in time they will start to accept me for who I am. Yes, I have demanded to be accepted for my intemperate style of writing - because that is me, for my sense of humour, - because that is me, and for the fact I am a whistleblower - because that is me as well. So, my skirmish with the GMC, is all about their failure to force me to conform to a fictional image of what they perceive to be a doctor.

The regulatory bodies and various medical authorities support the cloning of people, they buy the same car, they go to the same parties, they have the same number of children but few know the purpose of their existence on earth. Because few people stand for what they believe in, those who do are essentially ostracized. This is a natural reaction of humans to those who are a little " different". I have compared it to playground bullying. It becomes much like fox hunting. Irrational attacks for the sake of preserving their vision of society.

I have always found that those who don't have the courage to be themselves often are quick to criticize others who do have the courage to be who they are. There is also a certain fear about associating with them or accepting them. People like to be accepted. They like to be liked. They like to be popular. They spend their lives trying to achieve those things and in doing so lose themselves in the vacuum we deem society. Few would risk associating with an untouchable for fear of losing their place in " society".

There is a caste system in India called the Untouchables. They clean the latrines. I often compare myself to the Latrine cleaners - because we both try and clean the dirt because it is our job to do so. There is a certain honesty in leading simple lives, earning simple money and never compromising with your integrity or selling yourself out to society. I discovered this when I was at the height of the medical profession, mingling with important people.

The more educated people are, the more corrupt they become. This isn't the rule but it is a trait common in many people. It is as if education blurs the line between a truth and a lie. If we think about it, those who are educated and rich have the most to lose - and this buys their silence.

Many people I have met in life have made compromises in exchange for the decadent self congratulatory lives they lead. I have spent hours in a court room looking at Mark Shaw QC, not for his dashing good looks but I observed the destruction of a man's integrity. Shaw fascinates me on a different level. To me, he exemplifies everything I dislike in mankind. I often wonder what he was like before the decadence of society affected him.

I often wonder what kind of man would sell himself to a profession and desert all he once believed in. Money is a great seducer to many people. Shaw has a job to do much like the Nazi's had a job to do. Shaw shoots doctors in court by his arguments. The Nazi's shot Jewish people. Death has different definitions. Death can be an absence of life, death can be an absence of a life. Many people die at various times during their lifespans. Many doctors die in court. Shaw is like many faceless people we all meet. I am sure Charles Dickens would describe him much more eloquently than me. Shaw is a shell of himself, he functions for money. Perhaps one day, I hope he will find his purpose in life. An advocate with such talents should be saving people not assassinating them. I have an enormous about of sympathy for Mr Shaw.

So having aimed and reached the heady heights of educated people, I discovered that none of them had the values I did and still do. There is nothing magical in those values, it doesn't make me a better person. It does though mean, I realised that the hard work required to reach those heady heights was not worth it. I am positive I would have been far happier being a latrine cleaner, earning an honorable living in downtown Calcutta. There is a certain honour about an honest living.

There is a certain charm to simple principles and the simpler life. It also provides us all with the kind of happiness that can never be found by those who chase the decadent attractions of modern society. Those who survive well will have learned the importance of a simple life in an increasingly hostile world.