Fish and Chips.

Whistleblowers are often people in trouble. All aspects of their life is affected by the kind of establishment mobbing that seeks break them. I think the establishment always tries to take everything away from you until you stand their absolutely naked and say " OK, what now". For someone like me - you start to say - OK Hit Me Baby One More Time - and this time give it your best shot.

The medical establishment believes that all tell tale tits must be taught a lesson. I believe in quite the opposite, all those who want to teach us a lesson shall have that lesson reversed back onto them and shoved down their pristine reputations. It's just the basics of my survival kit.

It is true that I have had one person in my life who has stood by me like a knight. He was there when I was in tears in 1998. He didn't understand a great deal about medicine but he was on the end of the telephone when no one else was prepared to be. He was my lifeline. He was my best friend.

I think the tough terrain of whistleblowing differentiates those men who will just be there to use you and those who will stand by you always. I am no stranger to men. I like them. That is no secret. There are different types of men - those who will desire you much like a trophy, those who will use you and those who are brave enough to stand by you. It wasn't until I whistleblew that I developed a understanding of the real value of a friend standing by you through thick and thin. He wasn't my boyfriend, he was just a person who was on the end of the phone. He has watched the system try to dig my grave and throw me in without a coffin. He has moaned at me about how rubbish the medical system is. His hatred for all things medicine grew the more he read of the issues surrounding me. Before me, he hadn't heard of the GMC. After me, he felt they really were a pathetic little body who are completely deluded.

When I was in pain due to sheer exhaustion, he wrote my letters to the GMC for me. And they still called me intemperate. I recall the response from Peter Lynn moaning that the letter that had been written by my friend was intemperate. We both sat there and thought - " Yep, the GMC are indeed fruitloops". And that is important - it is vital to get this organisation into context. They think they are so important and all powerful. In the end, they are actually filled with inept human beings with very little in the way of proper skills.

Without my friend, my survival time would have been limited. Through him I found the art of separating the issues of whistleblowing to that of real life. I had a life to lead, it was important to lead it and not be consumed by the issues of whistleblowing. The anger against the system can consume you if you allow it. We ate Fish and Chips together on the pier and decided that the sugary doughnuts sold in Blackpool were considerably better than dealing with correspondence from the General Medical Council. It is these fragments of reality and enjoyment that I have always valued. I love Fish and Chips. I have it on special occasions and it is best eaten by the sea. I think these wonderful things makes us all understand that life is indeed worth living. I have learned not to rush my Fish and Chips, I have learned not to rush my life as I used to. I have effectively learned to live and living takes some effort.

One day, we are going to have a great big bonfire and burn all my GMC papers. We shall cook marshmallows on the fire and enjoy ourselves. You come to the conclusion that what the GMC says is really quite pointless in the grand scheme of things.

The one advantage of whistleblowing is that I have stripped and streamlined my life so only people who are worth knowing are around. I have dispensed with those who were essentially pointless hangers on. This has saved me an inordinate amount of time, effort and energy. Post Whistleblowing, you tend to spend your time effectively. At least, I value each good day. I certainly hate wasting my time with time wasters. One of my relatives told me yesterday - " It is amazing after all you have been through, you still get up early in the morning and you continue your day as if none of this has ever happened". Yes, that is of course quite correct.

It is important to understand, one cannot change the past but we all have the power to change the future. The future is always bright. Well at least, the future has Thorntons Chocolates for me :).

Oversensitive

Everyone dies in the NHS

Whistleblowing is a dangerous escapade. Had I known this in 1998, I would never have done it. Indeed, when I did it, I didn't even know it was whistleblowing. I was simply attempting to save some patients. That as I saw it was my job. I raised many concerns at the time in good faith and subsequently discovered the truth faces of the medical profession's professors. The wrath of the senior shall silence the junior. That is the rule they all worked by. Their efforts to control me had failed. And yes, I am still standing 10 years later trying to tell everyone about the state of the NHS that is costing endless lives. Is anyone listening? Probably not.

This week we see my previous haunt Selly Oak Hospital being given the Dr Foster treatment. While the world is shocked, I am not because I have always known that the NHS offerred patients substandard care. The care is universally bad but when people were told that in 1998-2000, no one believed me. Now, we have the results of turning a blind eye as I predicted many years ago. The soaring death rate is currently being featured slowly through the media.

The media appear all excited about it but in April 2000 when we protested on the subject, no media featured it. So we ask ourselves, where is the Telegaph editor who felt Ward 87 was simply about an axe to grind?

So whose fault is the high death rate? Well, there are a combination of factors, one being the attitude of those in the higher echelons of power in the UK. So I was right about everything. What use is it now? Thousands of people have died and I don't feel good about it. I feel angry that I wasn't listened to. Had I been taken seriously, deaths could have been prevented nationally. And that is a sad fact of life ie that despite all the sacrifices made by a whistleblower and I have made a few including paid the price of my medical career, nothing was ever achieved. Many were quick to criticise me but few were prepared to correct the problem.

I am aware that Professor David Brenton once wrote that I was too oversensitive to the failings of the system. Well, it is true, I did not expect to see the kind of NHS that apparently existed.

I have never accepted it and perhaps that is my fault. My colleagues though have managed to accept it, managed to earn their ounce of corn and managed to ignore the failings of the NHS. It is a national medical concept that failings in care should be ignored by doctors. Whistleblowing is culturally outlawed in the NHS. Even if good doctors tried to raise it, they would have met the same fate as me.

Professor Brenton felt that all doctors should be all grown up, overlook the failings of the system just like he did and move on. Brenton now is a aged man, I wonder when he will be admitted into a hospital. I wonder whether he will think the same things when he lies in his own feaces and urine like other patients in the NHS. I wonder if he will feel the same when he cannot feed himself and the nurses walk past him. I wonder if he will feel the same when the oxygen is not given to him by the nurses when he is gasping for breath. I wonder whether he will feel the same when the junior doctor checks her lipstick in the mirror before attending to a cardiac arrest. We rely on our seniors to be outspoken, to fight against poor care but in Professor David Brenton [ at University College London], I found a conceited man who was quick to dismiss my concerns as that of a oversensitive young doctor. I am now older and I feel the same way about David Brenton. I feel that he failed many patients and he did this because he was quite happy to ignore poor care. I could name legions of professors who neglected poor care. We can commence with Professor Elizabeth Paice, Professor John Temple etc. Naming them though will never make an ounce of difference because the media won't understand the reasons why there are such disastrous death rates. They will not understand that part of the reason stems from the inadequacy of the profession's seniors who spent more time wallowing in their own self importance than they do holding the system to account.

As for Professor Rod Griffiths, the other rogue of the Midlands Public Health Department, I wonder what he has to say about the catastrophic status of the Midlands hospitals. He will deny all responsibility as he always does. I suspect all these old men of medicine have private healthcare plans but I have worked in private hospitals and the care is not much better. All these old men of medicine are way past 65. They are closer to death than someone like me. I often wonder what those closer to death think about the current system. I often wonder whether they will gasp their last breath in hospital and say "We were wrong, we should have done something because if we had done something, even we could have been saved". Griffiths though has always been a deluded man when it comes to addressing poor care. For years, he probably concealed poor care just like Ward 87. Now that the shit has hit the fan and he has retired, Griffiths will say " What me? Of course, it has nothing to do with me, I am retired". We have to then ask the question - how many years have patients been dying for? Well, in 1998, the Midlands Hospitals were extremely bad. Now, I suspect the situation has worsened due to a series of cover-ups. I don't ever recall Professor Griffiths doing anything useful during his time in office.

There is limited justice in the world of medicine. Karma afterall comes to all those who travel the path of the dark side. The Dark Side though is tempting for these elderly doctors of medicine. They often convince themselves that they have the wisdom that age is supposed to bring. They brush aside the younger generation, dimissing our concerns as "naive". When we are proven to be right, none of them have a thing to say about it. They remain tightlipped publicly, only whispering away within closed doors.

Sadly, the grandees of medicine have often lost their way from the path of the truth or justice. Their judgment has been clouded by the influence of the medical fraternity. Patients die, doctors remain silent. Those who teach them to remain silent are the elderly professors of medicine.

These are the professors who relish the control over life and death. This is because they love the supreme power that comes with control. Medicine is about power not about patient safety. That is how it has been developed by those who are the leading movers and shakers in the medical fraternity.

In Search of Tamiflu

No Tamiflu Outreach Service

So this week I went in search on Tamiflu for a elderly lady who requested it. I was only asked to use the internet for her, she continued the rest. She had developed Swine Flu symptoms and felt she ought to have Tamiflu. Rumours flown to her implied that Tamiflu can be obtained on the internet quite easily. This elderly lady is in her sixties with multiple medical problems. She often calls on others to assist her but this week no one was available in her local area. She lives about 15 miles from any city. So my adventures of trying to obtain Tamiflu commenced one bright morning.

1. The first website to visit is this one. NHS Choices on Swine Flu. Again, it isn't obvious where the online Tamiflu can be booked from.

2. There is a small link on the left that takes you to the National Pandemic Flu Service.

3. Again from point 2, it isn't obvious where you get Tamiflu from until you read through the entire rubbish and come across this. This is the Swine Flu Online Assessment.

4. You then move to this section by clicking on the relevant "I agree"to everything button. You then complete the assessment. It is at the end of this that you get a reference number. The idea is that you print out your reference number and find the nearest collection point. And there lies the difficulty! I would have thought that all pharmacies in the UK could have been collection points but clearly this has not been the case.

5. The next issue was where to obtain the Tamiflu from. You have to take your personal ID, the patient's ID and go down to the specific collection point.

6. So the collection point consisted of 3 chemists in the City 10-15 miles away from the elderly lady. These are some collection points. This elderly lady was housebound, did not have her own transport, was fearful that the freezing cold would aggravate her already deteriorating flu.

7. She rang her local pharmacy who told her that they didn't dispense Tamiflu. They sent her to the main Boots in the small town.

8. She rang Boots who told her that they did not supply Tamiflu without a doctors script. The National Pandemic Flu Service Tamiflu ID would only be used in the specific chemists 15 miles away.

9. She rang the doctor who told her that it probably wasn't swine flu over the phone and refused to give her a script.

10. She then rang her PCT and asked for help with the collection points. The PCT stated that she would need to ring the National Pandemic Flu Service ID. She told them that she had already been there and they suggested contact with the PCT.

11. The elderly lady subsequently decided to give up, have a cuppa, commence some ginger tea and hope she didn't develop complications.

12. She then opened her post that day to find a letter telling her that Swine Flu vaccinations were happening and that the district nurses would ring her. She rang the District Nurses whose number was engaged for 7 hours. It has now been nearly a week with no news of the Swine flu vaccine.

The elderly lady developed Swine Flu but is recovering slowly.

And there we have it, Tamiflu accessibility in action in the vulnerable group. In Africa, you have an outreach service to target isolated groups. In the UK, the elderly just have to fend for themselves.

To Rita, From Beau Eckland

Desiderata

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Beau Eckland was larger than life. He was a big man with a big soul and a big heart. Beau and I met many years ago while working in Lancashire. He was my consultant. I had whined about a different consultant's attitude when he had upset one of my patients. Beau essentially told me to shut up, be quiet and do my job and quit the temptation to fight in battles that cannot be won. Beau was right because he always wanted to protect me.

Six months later the Spanish consultant from hell was struck off the General Medical Council's Register following various other complaints. I showed Beau the copy GMC Today that quoted the case. We both sat there and thought that sometimes fate is a strange thing. One doesn't even have to try to direct karma, it just happens.

Beau and I remained very good friends. The most surreal picture of both of us is with Beau and I fighting over the large amounts of freebees in the Lilly Rep's car boot. Lilly is a drug company which manufactures a drug called Olanzapine. Lilly spends its entire life trying to tell us all that patients don't get fat on it - actually they do.

Anyway, on that day, Eckland and I were scavengers. We were in the Blackpool Royal Infirmary car park bagging the gifts from the wise man of the esteemed drug company. It was shared loot. Eckland always got the good pens. It was so frustrating. Eckland always used the trick of tickling me so that I couldn't reach for the best bits of the freebees - I was always after the glassy pens. In trying to reach them that day, I practically fell into the Lilly rep's boot. Eckland was insistent that if I fell in, he would take a picture of my M and S opaque tighted legs and plaster it on the doctor's mess so I would never live it down. Such a wicked wicked man with no shame!

It is a load of rubbish to suggest that we were persuaded into prescribing the drug. We weren't interested in the drug - we were interested in free stuff. It was a bit like the days of the fabulous Viagra pens. Yes, we all had them, all the surgeons had them and even those who didn't have any testosterone had them. Eckland and I intently listened to the bullshit given to us by various drug companies for one aim only - to get the freebees. When it came to clinical management, we did what was best for the patient. Long gone are the days of freebees but it was fun then. It was just fun to eat drug company food, whip their goods and have endless supplies of post-it notes. We both figured, drug companies were rich, we weren't so we called it "equalising profits". My supply of post-it notes have lasted me to this day.

Beau was and always will be one of the best doctors I have ever worked with. His clinical management was extraordinary. He spoke with an Australian twang. He loved food, he loved life and he loved living.

Beau had developed health problems earlier this year when he ended up in hospital. He came out shocked at the treatment of patients in the NHS. He told me " They are f**** killing em Reets". He had essentially worked so hard that everyone had forgotten to take care of him. Indeed, he had forgotten to take care of himself. The hundreds of patients he cared for were never there for him. And this is the fate of sick doctors. They become a nameless grave. All their good work is never remembered but remain as fragments of memories locked in the patients' minds.

Eckland used to tell me that he felt trapped by many things over the years. He simply wanted to be free on a sandy beach and at peace. He wanted to lie flat and watch the blue skies and think of nothing but the beautiful world we all lived in. I suppose he got his wish. Beau became difficult to deal with, he refused help, he refused everything. He would ring me and tell me he was dying but refused to see me. His dislike of everything wrong in life appeared to take over - because illness makes doctors weak. Eckland wanted kindness but failed to accept it. I was essentially helpless and this worried me day by day. I was terrified that one day he would never ring again.

A few months ago, Beau Eckland was found dead in his hospital room by the police. He had died while oncall. His wife called me a week later. I should have attended the funeral but I just didn't like the thought of remembering Beau as a dead man. Funerals for me are such fake places where some pretend to mourn the loss of their loved one. They say what a lovely person the deceased was but were never there when the person was a living being. I have attended many funerals like that. I often sit and watch the many people pay their respects. As if the dead care about who attends their funeral. I am sure Beau was away somewhere having fun than watching the crocodile tears of those who see funerals as a way to purge their consciences.

For me Beau was never dead, he was alive in his spirit, in his laughter and in all the things in the world that I remember him by. Eckland was also prepared to write me a reference for the General Medical Council court hearing while he was ill in hospital. Beau never liked the GMC and always said that as doctors we were all fighting a losing battle. I told him that that organisation had no meaning in my life. What bothered me was their failure in cases causing untold damage to those who could not cope with them, There were far far more important things than them.

I went into court in 2009 essentially with no backup because out of the world of people I had known or helped, only Beau Eckland was prepared to stand by me - only Beau as a doctor was prepared to say " My name is Dr Beau Eckland and I am a friend and colleague of Dr Rita Pal". And this meant a great deal to me. It meant so much to me that I would never have allowed him to risk himself for me. I stopped him in his tracks and told him that under no circumstances was he going to align himself with me and place himself in jeopardy.

To me, his offer was real friendship - those who have the courage to stand by their medical friends. During my court hearing in 2009, many many people had pulled out then as Beau said, if they don't want to protect their future, stuff em. He was of course right about that and about many things. One cannot force the population of doctors to understand that they are essentially sitting ducks and that the GMC case I was involved in shows us all what a disastrous situation the current regulatory system is in. Essentially, it is much like a time bomb waiting to happen where innocent doctors will be destroyed. As Beau said, doctors have to accept the path they opt for. To some extent, that is true.

Beau always told me that no one would ever miss him and that the entire world always wanted something from him. He had three wives in total and it amazed me how he married so many. He felt like a Money Making Machine.

Beau was a simple man, all he was ever looking for was kindness. As he pointed out to me, there is little kindness in the world. Beau though was a kind and generous man. He was there for everyone but in the end no one was there for him - not even me. Dr Eckland though was a complex man who towards the end of his life just remained a voice on the telephone because for once he refused to meet me - not the other way around.

Anyhow, the above poem was given to me by Beau Eckland a few weeks after we first met. It teaches us many things about the world we live in. Most of all, it teaches us about leading a different kind of life. I am honoured to have known Beau Eckland and even though he always bagged the plush Olanzapine pens, he gave me more than that - he gave me true friendship that is extremely rare in a medical world full of superficial arrogance. I don't believe the medical world knows how to care. They do though know how to be doctors. Because for many, the title is far more important than the concept.

I miss Beau Eckland but in time we all learn to refill that vacuum with all the memories our friends leave us with. Eckland was a very special individual - I wish he had felt that himself while he lived.

Anyhow, if there is a life after death, I am sure he will be in Australia drinking a beer. I am also quite positive that should I meet him one day, he will be buying me that beer. It should of course be a Castlemaine XXXX.

Written in memory of Dr Beau Eckland, a good friend and colleague.

IF

I recently sent the above to a good friend of mine who isn't feeling great. I first read this when I was 10 years old and it stuck in my mind during all the times that have been difficult. Difficulties are really only a state of mind. Once you have got over that, everything is really simple. The key is to do all tasks in life with the utmost integrity. If you work hard enough on a path of honesty, the answers will soon be yours. Even if they do not appear all at once, you will have paved the way for those after you. That is every person's legacy.

D.I.V.O.R.C.E

James Landon has written a very amusing piece on free counselling for those who wish to hit the high road to divorce. Read the piece here. One of my favourite Country singers is Tammy Wynnette. I quite like Country music because it is so laid back and fun. I probably have all Tammy's albums. My view on divorce - never get married. I think marriage was a silly and stupid invention by those who think sex out of wedlock is a bad thing. Well, it isn't a bad thing and I actually think men shouldn't be pinned down permanently, locked down and imprisoned. In this day and age of gold diggers, I have no idea why any man would want to get married. Of course, no one has to prove they love the other person by signing a certificate. It should already be proven in other ways.

My closest to marriage has been my GMC certificate. I don't have that anymore and that goes to show that long term marriages never work out. I think being registered with the GMC was like being hooked up with a psychopathic and abusive husband who took pleasure in beating you up repeatedly and expected you to apologize for it like a good domestically abused wife. Well, the GMC has 183,000 wives to beat up these days, all of them will only be too happy to be whipped, stripped and battered until there is nothing left but skeletons.

Medical Mobbing Part Trois. The Wicked Ways of Rod Griffiths

Telling the Truth Becomes an Impossibility

And that was the end of my Swine Flu. Now back to the whistleblowing business. I am terribly sorry that the GMC and Department of Health are probably rather disappointed that their grave digging has not come to any legitimate result. Yes, I have a few remnants of Swine Flu but nothing that will throw me into one of those graves. Besides, after remaining in a medical box full of disgusting people, I think being in a wooden box would cramp my style. I would prefer to simply be cremated with my ashes thrown to the seas at Lizards Point.

In the meantime, as I am not facing a furnace or an NHS hospital, I think it is probably best that we continued the tales of medical mobbing. Previously on Ward 87, I wrote about Prof Rod Griffiths CBE. The CBE is important because it means that no matter how many patients you affect, you can retire in Worcestershire with a rather large fat pension.

I woke up this morning to an email from Professor Rod Griffiths. I had asked him to correct his Wicked Ways. Well, all wolves need an opportunity to correct themselves. After all, reformed characters often do this kind of thing. Griffiths wrote a very predictable email and refused to correct his position. He made all kinds of excuses for the fact he wished to sit on his toad stool and simply croak. I had actually secretly hoped he would do this because life would be rather boring without detailing the Wicked Ways of Rod Griffiths online and through a book. Some things are just too entertaining as narrative to be locked in some stuffy old cabinet. And when we are all dead and buried, no one can say I was unfair. I always have this theory that reading is a high expectation. It is clear that Griffiths is unable to read evidence. He never has been able to read properly. The same can be applied to numerous judges, lawyers, senior doctors, GMC workers etc etc. The more you walk up the ladder of authority, the more you understand that reading is a rare and specialist talent. With the General Medical Council, you raise one issue, the question answered is another one.

This was one of my favorite emails written to the legal representatives paid for by the tax payer. Yes, old Rodders was represented by his entourage of Department of Health ethnically correct lawyers. One of our favorites is Zahida Ramzan Asgar. Asgar is a fascinating creature. Like most lawyers, Zahida has problems with the truth. Dealing with the complaint at the GMC was a bit like making a Carry On Movie or indeed a Pantomine. Ramzan Asgar cannot have been employed by the Department of Health for her talents in honesty. The problem with lawyers and doctors like Professor Griffiths is that they all assume that only they are clever and that the rest of us aren't.

The email below centred upon my allegation that there was no drip set to save a patient. Whats the fuss, the Telegraph may [ and did] ask. For those in the medical know how, we know that if fluid cannot be administered in a dehydrated hypovolaemic patient, then they tend to die. Drip sets are available in every first world country and even in third world countries.

Anyhow, in this particular case, Asgar as a lawyer thought she was cleverest one in the world. You could just imagine her standing in front of her large oval mirror preening herself and telling herself what a wonderful lawyer she is.

Griffiths felt that as senior doctor extraordinarily, no one would question his absurd statement. Again, it was designed to imply that I didn't know what I was talking about. The fact though remains that I have always known what I am talking about - it is simply that the rest of the authorities haven't a f**** clue.

This was my email to her - following this email, the GMC began to run around like headless chickens. Why do I talk about this now - well, its hellishly funny and readers ought to assess the question - if these people in high places don't have a clue about drop sets, what do they have a clue about?

Message date : Apr 25 2005, 10:46 PM
From : "Rita Pal"
To : "Zahida Ramzan-Asghar"
Copy to :
Subject : Lesson one in Medicine for Professor Griffiths

Dear Zahida,

You say your client has a CBE, a A++ distinction award etc etc.

In 18.5 of your document ( page 26), you state

" An alternative available to the Complainant was to call a crash team herself and not leave the patient. The crash team would have had a drip set and would have provided more experience".

I am sure the eminent Professor with his CBE and his A+ distinction award would be aware that the most experienced doctor in the world could not do anything without a infusion set. For mere solicitors like yourself - you need to comprehend that without a drip set, fluid cannot be administered even by the crash team or a consultant. Anyhow, I enclose the Resuscitation Council's Ward/ Hospital equipment list.

The Resuscitation Council states the following "Provision should be made in all clinical areas to have immediate access to resuscitation drugs and equipment to facilitate rapid resuscitation of the patient in cardiopulmonary arrest". This is the minimum requirement for equipment on any ward.

Anyhow, as you are a solicitor and rather observant, you may well notice in the circulation equipment section of this document- it states " Intravenous infusion sets" . This is of course a drip set.

You admitted that because there was no drip set on the ward, I should have called the crash team for help despite the fact the patient had not arrested. Anyhow, firstly the crash team is ONLY called in a situation of actual rather than predicted respiratory or cardiac arrest ( I can show you the protocols for this if you wish). By your own admission there was no drip set, therefore the ward has not fulfilled the minimum standards expected by the resuscitation council thereby placing patients at risk.

By the way, for avoidance of doubt, the enclosed equipment is expected to be on every ward by every crash team. Perhaps you should join me in a crash call so that we can all observe whether a drip set is routinely carried. Would you like me to bleep the registrar oncall at a hospital today and on the crash team - I could ask him whether he has a drip set in his pocket that he carries around while on MAU :)

You should also remember that I was on the City General Hospital Crash Team. I note in May 1999, the defibrillator in City General Hospital stopped working mid arrest. The expression, we had one but the knob fell off springs to mind.

For our Professor, a man with A ++ and a CBE - it is rather laughable that he has absolutely no idea of the minimal requirements required on a clinical ward and neither apparently has the General Medical Council.

Lesson two will be later on this week :). Hope you are taking notes Prof Griffiths.

Kind Regards

Dr Rita Pal

cc This is blind copied to all my medical friends including those on a doctors website near here so they can have a good laugh. For all the non medics on this list - this concerns Professor Griffiths ( Ex Director of Public Health)'s efforts to bamboozle the GMC into thinking that if there is no drip set on the ward, one should call the crash team even if the patient has not yet arrested to obtain a drip set. Apparently, the SHO, Registrar or anaesthetist will bring their own dripset. So campers - everytime the NHS Trusts fail to afford to put drip sets on the ward, and you need one to infuse fluids - call the crash team and tell them Professor Rod Griffiths set ya :) and the GMC agrees with it. So for the number of times we need a drip set in a medical emergency such as dehydration, septic shock, pre - op, hypoglycaemia etc the GMC and Prof Griffiths advises us to - call the crash team. When the crash team arrive you say " He is not dead, he has not arrested, he is breathing, he has a pulse but I would not mind borrowing your drip set" ( cause Prof Griffiths said you would not mind).

Breathing is a basic right

I have been awake since 0430 today. Lying flat is making me short of breath so there was only one more thing left to do. I trotted downstairs and started to inhale steam/Vicks. I hate being short of breath, it reminds me of a number of patients who become short of breath - you sit there hour after hour trying to improve them. One of the tricks with pneumonia in hospital is to use warm saline nebulisers. At home, this technique has to be mimicked by a bowl of hot water and Vicks. Loosening phlegm is vital in the management of any chest infection. The other issue is to nurse the patient sitting up - using a number of pillows. In hospital, this is easy because hospital beds have a pillow support.

Lying flat more often then not causes further shortness of breath in people with heart failure and or infections. In NHS hospitals, you will often find that the demise of patients is related to the fact that nurses have not nursed them with their pillows raised/and or sitting up. At home, people can purchase the bed wedge pillow which is immensely useful. The last issue to loosen phlegm in chest infections/pneumonia is to keep up the good fluid intake. Dehydration causes further sticky phlegm and prolongs infection.

And so matters improved for me - but for only 2 hours At 0800, I was back under the towel and bowl of hot water, this time things improved even more. The tissue mountain grew and was flushed down the toilet. The good news is that the wheezing has now gone down to brief crackles through the chest. Exhaustion though is setting in gradually. I need to sleep more than 8 hours and it hasn't happened for a while.

This was my predicament, I didn't want swine flu to be left on surfaces etc for the rest of the relatives to catch. Finally, I found some anti bacterial wipes - not that they will do any good but I have to do what I can as a responsible person with a infectious virus. The Swine flu has now made by cells its host. It has made itself comfortable and has put its spindle feet up. If anyone has done virology they will know that all viruses are wicked selfish creatures. Anyone who wants to read about bugs should consider buying a book called Medical Microbiology by Playfair. I was taught by Playfair at medical school and he is an immensely entertaining writer and lecturer. He makes bacteria and viruses fascinating.

Today, I had to get some air from the outside world so I sat in the garden while dawn broke. The sun and the morning is a beautiful thing to observe when you are feeling so darned ill. It is the kind of thing you appreciate when you come out of a court room filled with vipers and you have to hang onto the fact that actually the world is beautiful and everything else that society creates is largely irrelevant.

My greatest pleasure in life these days is my daily Activa pot of yoghurt. Activa and antibiotics go together because according to a GP friend of mine, it prevents diarrhoea. I prefer strawberry of course and am quite happy to wolf down a number of tubs. I haven't had any side-effects to antibiotics. One thing is for sure, I really do not like being a semi detached home for the Swine Flu virus. It is now becoming an uninvited guest and I would like it to leave. In retrospect, perhaps Tamiflu would have been a good idea. At least I would have felt I had done everything to protect myself. Then again, knowing me I probably would have had some severe reaction to it. Yesterday, I hear a man attended hospital because it caused jaundice.

And would I have had the Swine Flu vaccine? Given the severity of this illness, yes. I will probably recover from this chest infection/pneumonia but some elderly folk/vulnerable people would have died. I think you have to have quite high level stamina to deal with this virus. The virus as advertised is crippling.

My next project is to study Aloe Vera - some tell me that it is good for the immune system. See video below. I haven't made my mind up yet whether I should add it to my regime this week. I have given up on mastering the duvet issue because I neither have the strength or the mental power to concentrate on this.

Emergency Rainbow. Houston we really have a problem

Multicoloured emergency

OK, it is 17.13, my fever is back as is my crippling spinal pain. The most worrying thing is that my phlegm has loosened and has become a multi-coloured rainbow. That is probably too much information for the masses but it indicates a serious chest infection. The fact it is turning red is a second issue that is worrying me i.e it may be pneumonia. It doesn't help that my chest is now whistling more than me. It is one of the complications of swine flu that I had feared.

Anyway, the good news is my throat is miles better and my voice is back. Fantastic, now I can whine to everyone about my fragile state. I am on antibiotics only because I really don't feel like dying off and lying dead in some wet gale blown grave badly dug by the deadbeats at the GMC.

Even worse, I really don't feel like being admitted in some dingy NHS hospital where no junior doctor will be able to cannulate me and some moron will ask me whether I speak English or not. I suppose some weedy paramedic will say he cannot carry me because I don't weigh -7 stone and that it is against Health and Safety to carry me to the ambulance. Some old lady last week fell head first onto the pavement because the paramedics didn't carry her properly due to health and safety regulations. This behaviour from health staff is becoming absurd. Lastly, I really don't want to wear a blue gown which falls off everytime you for a pee. I will have to go back to BHS pants and it really really will cramp my style big time. The good thing about being ill is that my records are no longer on the NHS database. Yes, I used the Big Opt Out. There is nothing in there anyway as I hate being a patent, I hate visiting the doctor etc etc.

I have been whinging about the fact I have been quite silly and not taken Tamiflu but a GP I know tells me that the drug only reduces the symptoms by one day. The whine of regret is now driving all my friends round the bend. So this is one in a series of unfortunate events for me. I had to get this complication, it had to be me, it couldn't be anyone else like Liam Donaldson. I was hoping to recover tomorrow but now I have to tolerate these complications and remain quarantined for at least 3 days more. This quarantine is now becoming impossible for me. I have now read all about lipsticks, Jordan and Gold diggers and it would be good if I could concentrate on more intellectual material but its not happening. My concentration span is now less than a goldfish due to this infection. It will become a real emergency if I start watching Big Brother re-reruns.

Apparently, the GMC gravediggers are back to digging again....... . Hope is a fine thing eh....

In the meantime, I am going back to bed and if I don't post tomorrow....... Mike Delphino may have rescued me or lets hope the big G supplies tall dark handsome angels with blue eyes where size does matter!

NB For GT and JL - I meant "wings" *sigh*

Playing Now :)

Day 3. All Change for the Miss Piggy Double Duvet

Swineflu Accessory

I woke up at 5.30 as usual. Spent 2 hours under a steam pot filled with water and Vicks. Used up endless tissue paper - I am building a tissue mountain.

I keep thinking that everyone around me or those who visit me will catch swine flu.

The elderly and irritating window cleaner arrived yesterday insisting he needed to speak to me. Which part of " swine flu" didn't he understand? I really dislike window cleaners. Firstly, they are nosey and secondly you just feel like edging towards the window and destabilizing the ladder. I would never do that of course but it is always tempting.

I have kept away from most human beings save for the ones who insist on invading my quarantine hutch. I have been left a Miss Piggy duvet cover by members of my immediate family who also confiscated Series 5 of Desperate Housewife on the pretense that it was too risky for me to see more of Mike Delphino on DVD. My mother I hear is convinced that good little Indian girls should never look at a man with his top off.

Someone had snitched on me and told her that I have been placing shocking naked men on my Ward 87 blog. As with most asian mothers, she isn't happy at all. No doubt the gaggle of Bengali elderly women are tittering over my outrageous liking for Mike Delphino. It isn't my fault that all Bengali men are short, short and short. Not that I have anything against dwarfs of course but they just aren't Mike Delphino. And at some point, size has to matter.

As four people have pointed out, at no time have I been a good little Indian girl. They have a point of course! I couldn't remember the last time I was obedient.

While I was steaming my head, lungs, nostrils etc, I had time to contemplate the whistleblowing world around me. Since I have whistleblown, I have suffered from more infections than any other human being. I therefore conclude that there is some kind of a relationship between poor immunity and whistleblowing.

I have attempted to draw myself a plan to get over my chocolate addiction. These plans keep being redrawn repeatedly. Over the last 10 years, I keep relapsing intermittently. I have developed a dislike for all things with the word "lawyer or court" in it. My disrespect for authority has grown to heady heights. There is some kind of relationship between that and my chocolate addiction. Everyone tells me I should be grateful that I am not addicted to other substances but no one has counted my fascination with tall, dark haired blue eyed men. All from a distance of course. Once you take a closer look, you just have to run.

So the real side effects of whistleblowing are

1. Cynicism.
2. A total disrespect for authority
3. A care free attitude to everything.
4. A attitude to life where each day is valued.

Today is Day 3 of the Swine Flu. I appear to be getting better bar the fact I still have no proper voice. It hasn't killed me of yet despite the horror stories I have been told. Can someone tell the GMC grave-diggers to stop their work :)? Apparently, they were digging themselves into a deeper hole.

I should say that this Pig Plague appears to be quite a severe version of the flu and in retrospect, Tamiflu is a good idea for the vulnerable. Actually, it is probably a good idea for everyone. Why go through pain?

I happened to have braved it because I am a whistleblower and tough - and I have this idea that nothing defeats me. I also have this view that I am no wuss or weakling. This gung ho attitude isn't for everyone and I accept that. As for complications, I think I have developed a chest infection but that will resolve soon as long as I can loosen the phlegm. My chest appears to be whistling away in tune with my breathing. Perhaps I do really need a new bra again.

My current invader

I am though fairly washed out and totally exhausted. All I feel like doing is sleeping at present. The problem with sleeping is I find myself drenched due to the onset of fevers etc and subsequent decreasing of temperatures. This is resulting in further attempts to change my bed and duvet cover which is causing me substantial levels of irritation. It is at times like these that we all need maids. It is also at times like these there are advantages to being a gold digger. Sadly, whistleblowers have morals and gold digging is out of the question. That's the problem with having morals - you have to change your own bed and duvet cover no matter how much trauma it causes. This Miss Piggy duvet cover is causing me some serious problems.

My current problem is this - when am I free from being contagious? I would quite like to go shopping for more bras, a new supply of opaque black tights, underwear and of course chocolate! Besides, Christmas is coming.....................

Dreaming of Delphino

Dreaming of Delphino

I have just woken up from a deep slumber that lasted for about 7 hours. In that time, I had to again untangle myself from my duvet, fall out of bed, drink on jug full of iced water as I was getting severely dehydrated again. Having eaten pasta for dinner as made from The Big Book of Pasta, I feel a little more human again albeit exhausted. In the meantime, Blackdog has some sound advice for all of us - here is what he says :-

Rock and a hard place with this. Stop the caffiene for dehydration and you lose the effect of broncho-dilation for the breathing. Don't overdo the chocolate but send out for 85 or 90 per cent cocoa fat Lindt bitter sweet chocolate. Very soothing and low in carbohydrate, which is not good for any infection. Most thrive on starches and sugars so despite the intuition that orange juice is good; it isn't. It is far too high in fructose which is metabolised very rapidly in humans. Remember orange juice for Hypoglycaemia?

Far better Vitamin C in high dose tablets plus D3 in the long term to boost levels for winter when there is little sunshine to make it from cholesterol. As D3 has a half life of 8 weeks it won't help now but will in the future. Henry will tell you how much. Hydration is good especially iced water. Opiates with Acetominophen good for symptom relief but bad for long term use as you know as codiene will stop peristalsis fairly rapidly even in low doses.

I would hope you have a cohort of tame handsome followers to attend your needs, even at risk of infection, if I were 30 yrs younger it would be worth it. If not then 'Physician heal thyself'.

Seriously though take care of yourself, we all need you but you are a dynamo and your load will be affecting the HPA-axis and doing your immune system harm. You inspire us all but slow down while you're ill.

My voice has not returned. I am still squealing away like a pot bellied pig. Having a shower and basic things like brushing my teeth are now exhausting me completely. No doubt the combination of pain relief is causing this spaced out effect. I never do long term codeine by the way. Only use it in emergencies like this. I am positive one of the effects is to heighten the impact of the above picture.

The most difficult thing I am now having to cope with is recurrent dreams of Mike Delphino with no shirt on. This is causing me increases in heart rate that I may not be able to cope with. It does remind me of August 2009 when I was at our corner shop happily shopping for milk and eggs when a Delphino lookalike walked into the shop without a shirt on. I dropped the milk and eggs. I think this is called poor self control. I am repeatedly told to get my priorities right in life - apparently I have to take things like the GMC seriously. In reality though, I think my priorities as a whistleblower are absolutely spot on. First priority - good looking men, Second priority - chocolate, Third priority - Onken yoghurt etc etc.

Yes, it is true, I am now reading Hello and Now as my brain isn't focusing on more detailed material. I am still trying to figure out the point of Jordan.

I know I have to sleep for another 12 or more hours to fully recover. I hope my voice returns to normal functioning soon because I am fed up with being compared to Pinky and Perky. Not sure about my oestrogen molecules, I may spontaneously combust if Mike Delphino appears in my dreams again. I have been threatened with removal of Series 5 of Desperate Housewives if these dreams place my life at risk. Then again, there is always Richard Marks to rescue me :) :). Now, that is an interesting concept! The conclusion here is that those women who have swine flu should accessorize much like I do. Absolutely nothing wrong with recurring dreams on the subject of anatomy revision. One side effect is that it may not be doing much for my temperature.

While dreaming of Mike Delphino

Silence

OK, my voice has now gone. It is 15.02 and I cannot phonate any longer. I am reduced to minor squeaks and oinks. I have also now developed wheeze intermittently. I am though still alive [ Liam Donaldson may like to make a note]. I have secured some Merocaine throat lozenges. Fat lot of good they were, they anaesthetised the entire of my mouth but not my throat. Great! For years, I prescribed it on the ward thinking they were good. Now, they are just crap. So I am back to Green Tea and Manuka Honey.

So, now that I am silent, apparently all my friends are relieved. This is one person's comment today

Dear Rita,

Like all women, you talk far too much. You have rendered the GMC completely speechless on many occasions and never let them get a word in edge-ways. You have given Neil Marshall a migraine. He doesn't understand your sense of humour, neither does he understand your aim.

Please ring me so I can finally talk to you without being interrupted repeatedly by your insanely rapid brain power. You can squeak and I can talk. I have never been able to keep up with you or shut you up- that is because you should be compared to the Road Runner. This Swine Flu should tell you that you ought to slow down and work at normal speeds like the rest of us. By that I mean " human speeds". You must be the only person I know to have written 110 pages of legal argument in about 4 hours to the GMC. As you know, it took the GMC 2 years to unpick through it. It gave Professor Griffiths yet another migraine. Following that, you went off to the movies then ate a whole plate of pasta at Frankie and Benny's. You then used the GMC as an excuse to indulge in a large cheesecake having offered me one crumb. You subsequently came home and spent the entire night watching yet another re-run of the Star Wars trilogy.

This has been the case with your visits to Haagen Daaz and other places with cream cakes. These are all crimes against the GMC :) and had you been on the GMC register, you would have been summarily struck off for eating unhealthy foods in violation of Rule 57 - putting the profession into disrepute. We all know all you have to do is breathe to be placing the profession into disrepute. Thats why the GMC have always recommended that you stop using air.

On the rare occasion that I can get a word in edgeways, I may well be able to offer you seduction as you have been telling me I am tall dark and handsome for years. It is important that you sit down, shut up and listen to what I have to say. And yes, I have survived being oncall with you. And it is also true that we did have the picture of the then CMO on the board of the doctors mess dart board. It is also true that you needed a better bra during cardiac arrests. I had offered you support but you continued to refuse it. I have no idea why you continue to reject my hands - I am public school educated, rich, handsome, I own a MG and I am well equipped for the purpose.

Yours
GT

I find the above a gross exaggeration. It is though very true that since 2003, I have used the GMC as an excuse to eat Haagen Daaz ice-cream. The GMC is also blamed for the series of unfortunately events that have happened to me over the years. For instance, some years ago a squirrel fell on my head in the park - that was blamed on the GMC as well. Grame Catto has never admitted to hiring squirrels for the Hit and Run incident :).

The rest are quite simply scurrilous rumours projected by a sore loser in darts. Now this bra comment is interesting. Obviously GT didn't have his eye on the case. Amazing what you find out 5 years later. Not sure about his hands. He has poor testosterone control. Some kind of aberrant negative feedback I think.

Severe Pain

The onset of severe unbearable spinal pain commenced at about 09.15. That and the coughing became so bad that I had to think of something better to control my symptoms. My solution was Co-Codamol [30/500]. Codeine is often associated with cough syrups and can control coughs. There isn't any direct evidence to show it improves a cough in COPD patients but it has indeed stopped my cough and my spinal pain. After 1 hour, I managed to get out of bed to eat some breakfast. Co-Codamol should not be taken with any other pain relief and I am in no way recommending this management to anyone. This works on me and I know myself well. The worrying issue is that I now have yellow phlegm but at least it hasn't turned into all the colours of the rainbow. My solution to this is to use steam inhalation with Vicks to loosen this twice a day. The other trick is to increase fluid intake and stop all caffeine containing drinks. Caffeine containing drinks often cause diuresis [ excess urination]. One of the solutions to lower temperature is to drink a glass full of ice water every hour. A jug full of ice water is therefore an essential accessory. Good hydration is vital in any kind of infection. Infection will cause dehydration and perhaps I will let Dr India explain why that is. This is particularly evident in elderly folk.

The above is my breakfast. The reason for poached eggs is that it actually boosts immunity. I am actually egg mad. During oncalls, I used to make all kinds of inventions with a simple egg and of course as everyone knows, there is nothing like a full English breakfast at an NHS hospital. They actually cook them very well.

So essentially it is nearly 11 o clock and I am symptom free.

Painful throat, Oink and Mike Delphino

Fab

I have now discovered why they call this the Swine Flu. It is because the virus turns your voice into a little oink. You honestly feel like a little pig screaming away in pain. It is now 07.41 and I am still alive. This is good news to me but not the GMC who were on my logs yesterday clearly checking to see whether I had died of this virus. Having survived parasites like them, I am sure Swine flu won't be a problem. Well, at least I don't think so.

The main problem last night was a severely painful throat and hacking cough. The worrying fact about this is the choking effect of said cough while lying flat. So, I did the sensible thing and propped myself up with 5 pillows. Having finally nodded off after anti-inflammatories and strepsils, my biggest fear was that I would choke to death as my cough reflex doesn't appear to be working properly. This sore throat is quite severe, it is dry, painful and makes you feel as though you are on your death bed. Yes, I started to wheeze early this morning but I don't think I have a chest infection just yet.

My biggest problem is trying to get hold of some proper anti-septic throat lozenges with local anaesthetic properties. Since I cannot walk out of the house just yet, I am going to have to find another way of delivery. My next idea was to use Vick in a large bowl of hotwater and steam myself which has made me feel considerably better. I am going to simply have to cope with Manuka Honey and Green Tea which appears to make my throat tolerable.

Apart from that, my fever appears to have subsided so perhaps if I shut up, stopped talking and whinging with my very hoarse throat then things might just improve further. My only problem is that exhaustion is setting in due to my hacking dry cough.

So that's 24 hours over with. Perhaps today, Mike Delphino of Desperate Housewives can distract me from my misery. Yes, I really think that Mikey is really sexy and yes, I wish our road supplied plumbers like him in which case I would have repeated purposeful problems with the pipes. And yes, it just so happens that England is probably incapable of providing such a fine specimen of a plumber - both anatomically and aesthetically.

And it is very true that I probably think about Mike Delphino more than I think about the General Medical Council. The GMC have a complete inability to provide good looking dashing barristers. Every single man they have provided in court resembles a version of Rumplestilskin. The stooped gait, the guffawing in court, the nasal snouty voice, the total lack of integrity. Seriously, no girl can legitimately fancy a crumpled drag queen or man in a wig :).

Tangerine Dreams and Duvets

21.23 Tangerine Overload

I am now munching my way through a bowl of tangerines while drinking a jug full of iced water. Aspirin kicking in again with huge levels of sweat pouring off my head. My addition to this is Activa yohurt but it really pisses me off when the local Tescos only has eeky Rhubarb.

Witchdoctor has just posted and tells me she has the same duvet problem. This is why we all need to be rich and have maids. Anyway, I figured that I learned to work a Dyson Hoover so I can do this Duvet thing. Nothing is beyond me. My project during this illness is to master the duvet cover. Here is the instructions. This is the way my friend at medical school and I used to do it! [see video below] Actually, I need a satellite navigator to find my way out of most duvet covers. Not quite sure how I get tangled in them but this always happens during periods of high fevers! It is a little embarrassing being tangled when the GP calls on you. Anyway, talking of GPs, Jobbing Doctor has graced us with his presence. He writes below "Get better soon". He could of course say he would tend to my every need for the next 48 hours of total delirium by supplying me with Thorntons Chocolates! Liam Donaldson needs to pay Jobbing Doctor more money so he can provide this speciality service.

Until later when I am less influenced by my temperature....

Fever

OK my temperature is now up to 39.2 and I am now back to more aspirins and my beloved fan. There is a gale force wind outside and I appear to be getting more delirious. My throat is really sore to the point where I really am miserable. I have now decided to relapse into Hello Magazine. While my neutrophils are not quite getting to grips with the virus, Otto Chan is fighting a different kind of bug. This was a email he sent around a few weeks ago.

Dear All,

I thought that some of you might be interested in what is happening regarding my case and some might even be interested in coming to listen in on the 16th Nov.

1) I have taken my Trust (BLT) to an ET for unfair dismissal under PIDA (whistlebowing!)

2) As far as I know, it is the 1st time that someone has taken a case following summary dismissal

3) I am asking for retrospective salary and salary till 65yrs on the grounds that it is impossible to get another paid job in The NHS (I have kept records of my application as a locum, honorary and full time Consultant post - and not even been shortlisted - my SPR was shortlisted and appointed, so I know the candidates that applied against me

4) I am also asking for loss of pension

5) I am also asking for damages for malicious act - my original set of allegations included at least 15 other charges, which I was found NOT guilty, not least racism and bullying

6) The HC(90)9 panel found me guilty of misconduct - interpreted as gross by my Trust, not surprisingly! However, fortunately the 2 cases were both obviously fall under PIDA

7) Finally, I hope to take this further, if I win I intend to use the money to take civil action against individual managers and report it to the audit commission - either way, the managers may have to fork out the costs out of their own pockets - that might make them think twice in being vindictive and malicious in future (I doubt it, BUT...who knows!)

At an Employment Tribunal, there is 1 Judge and 2 lay members - you never know!

All the best

Otto

All coverage by the media can be read here. I have my fingers crossed for Otto but I suspect the Trust are edging to push the case towards the Perkin case. This is where the whistleblower is blamed for having a difficult personality.

16 Hours - Green Tea. Little Miss Piggy's Flu

There is one problem with whistleblowers. We all overwork. Overworking has a detrimental impact on your immune system. I found this out last year. Nevertheless, like all optimists, I have developed a system to rebuild my immunity despite the fact I normally have no insight into the fact that I work 10 times faster than the average human being. I am always told this but it has always been like this since I was a teenager so there we go.

I have just woken up from a deep slumber. It was good to know that I wasn't dead. It is always rather fun to discover that an illness hasn't killed you. I would make a terrible ghost.

I am now 16 hours into my swine flu state. Aspirin appears to have decreased my temperature. Having broken out in a huge sweat while asleep for all the wrong reasons I ended up getting lost in my duvet. The problem with duvets is that duvet covers are extremely complicated. Despite my moderately modest IQ, I still have not mastered the art of duvet cover changing. Anyway, it took me 20 minutes and now it is in some reasonable order.

As I am quarantined from the rest of the human beings I interact with, I decided to go thieving around the house for food. Covetted food tastes better. I do recall Dr India who went to stay with his friends in Europe. Overnight, he thieved a chicken leg from the fridge. He joyfully munched his way through said chicken leg while reading the Da Vinci Code. All hell broke loose the next morning over this chicken leg. World War 3 broke out and he was sent back to England. The war over the one chicken leg stolen after midnight lasted for 2 weeks or more and extended to a certain political party. Dr India opted to return said chicken leg to no avail. The offending chicken leg will never be seen again!

I on the other hand regularly thieve from my own stash of food supply. The vital thing in life is to ensure that you have large fluffy slippers, a fluffy warm dressing gown and a box full of Highland Shortbread while being ill. I have today finally found this large concealed box Highland Shortbread. There is no point relying on the Scottish men up in Inverness.

The next issue was to turn Green Tea into something decent that I could tolerate. I don't drink alcohol, don't smoke, don't like PG Tips, hardly ever drink coffee and often keep away from fizzy drinks. Yes, I am boring. But Green Tea has been plaguing my mind for two days now. My recent combination is Green Tea plus Manuka Honey. Well, there is some scientific logic to this. There is always some skewed logic to the way I think about things - so here we go. Here is a summary of the properties of Green Tea . Further info here

"Drink green tea – One little known secret about preventing the flu is adding green tea to your diet. Research has shown that green tea is extremely effective at preventing the flu, when consumed regularly. One study, reported by the UK Tea Council showed that green tea can protect in two ways. First, green tea suppresses the growth of influenza cells. Secondly, green tea actually kills off the influenza cells.

And, one thing that’s so great about green tea - it can protect against many strains of the flu virus. The flu vaccine each year just protects against that year’s most prevalent strain.

Green tea has recently garnered much attention for its ability to prevent disease and protect health. Research has shown that green tea’s powerful anti-oxidants are the key to preventing serious illnesses like cancer and cardiovascular disease"

And here

A recent study published in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition looked at the effect of green tea on health during the flu season. The study followed 118 healthy adults for three months during flu season; the participants ingested a capsule twice per day. The capsule was either decaffeinated green tea extract, which contained a standardized amount of the two immune-activating plant components found in green tea - L-theanine and epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG); or a placebo.

The green tea group when compared with the placebo group experienced 32.1% fewer cold and flu symptoms. The green tea group reported 22.9% fewer illnesses which lasted two or more days. Of the green tea group that did experience illness only 5.7% of them became ill enough that they sought medical care, in comparison to 12.7% in the placebo group. Other studies have also shown that gargling with green tea can aid in the prevention of cold and flu. The Japanese study showed that the virus which causes the flu can become non-infectious by having 5 seconds of contact with green tea.

I have previously talked about the effects of Manuka Honey. Today, I made the executive decision to combine the two. Green Tea and Manuka Honey is actually much more tolerable Actually, it's Green Tea, Manuka Honey stirred in and shortbread. As for my collection of intellectual material, I have dumped it to go and watch Mike the plumber in Desperate Housewives.

Now why doesn't our plumber ever look like Mike?

Miss Piggy Update. 12 Hours

100 percent chocolate pig

The good thing is that I am not dead yet. The swine flu hasn't killed me off. I suspect the virus is multiplying though as I can feel it. I am now a bona fide virus host. My functional capacity is now decreasing and my temperature is getting higher. I might flip from Neurofen to the fantastic antipyretic - Aspirin and a fan. There is indeed a new combination of Manuka Honey and lemon with intermittent Strepsils.

The race is on between my immune system and the Swine Flu virus. Now I need to sleep in the hope that I don't wake up dead. If God does exist, I am well and truly stuffed big time given my debates against religion and the lack of evidence for the big man in a white beard. As I really don't want to be smited, I am researching further methods of increasing my immunity. Chocolate comes in there - yeh! Wolfing down my Galaxy bar as we speak.

What I need of course is Jobbing Doctor. Where are these GPs when you need them eh?