I was going to write about the medical torture chamber Guantanamo Bay but perhaps I shall wait till dawn tomorrow to write that. I was sent an amusing link . "Nurses have been told to walk in pairs or carry umbrellas to protect them from attacks by squirrels". I thought I would narrate my hit and run incident with the park's resident red squirrel.
I was walking in the park on one bright sunny day as I do. This was about summer 2006 when I worked at Worcestershire Mental Health Trust. Those were heady days when my friends at the Trust actually talked to me. Of course, thanks to the GMC in 2007, no one speaks to me from Worcestershire Mental Health Trust. This is just to show us all that despite being cleared, you ain't cleared at any Trust. That is one of the perks of being investigated by the GMC.
Ah what it is to be forced to be politically correct and to deny your friends at their time of need. Human behaviour and the caring profession is a fine thing when analysed.
Anyhow, the secretaries will remember that they laughed outloud when I told them of my antics that summer weekend. Indeed, it was a running joke that summer that accidents just seem to happen to me. First there was the damaged foot while I saved a dog from drowning in the lake then there was the Squirrel encounter.
I was minding my own business, walking in the park on a summer's morning when suddenly out of nowhere, a fat squirrel fell out of a large oak tree and crashed into the top of my head. Hell, it hurt. What is the probability of a squirrel crashing into my head at warp speed? It wasn't your average squirrel, it was a fat red squirrel. While 3 dogs sat and watched me struggled with Mr Nutty, neither offered to assist. Of course, that is what dogs do, they have a look on their face that says " Look at that silly human, she is trying to fight with a squirrel again". That is because all dogs are wiser than humans.
Anyhow, it was a surreal image, I finally grasped the squirrel in both my hands with its legs dangling everywhere. I had finally unhooked him from my hair. It looked at me and screamed and I looked at it and screamed. After we had both calmed down - he understood that I was a human and I started to realise that he was a very hurt Mr Nutty. So, I fixed him up [ useful being a doctor you see] and he pottered off quite happily. He was now a hoppalong Squirrel.
In the week that followed, I developed a severe headache and blurred vision. My family complained that I had finished the stash of cashew nuts and that I was now addicted to nuts. The point here was I couldn't face going to Accident Emergency and telling the doctor that a squirrel had fallen onto my head. I couldn't face a CT form that said " Squirrel fell on Dr Pal's head". I had dreams that this sentence would spread on the NHS Spine far and wide and soon everyone would know that Dr Pal had a concussion after a Red Squirrel fell on her head. Even worse, the GMC would know that a squirrel fell on my head. I would probably have been struck off for failing to have due regard for airborne rodents namely one squirrel in foliage free-fall. I could I have been careless as to cause PTSD in the fat squirrel who clearly appeared shocked at being tangled in my long hair.
I didn't die off but recovered quite well. The large bump on my head disappeared and I appeared normal again. I do though still eat nuts everyday.
In the later weeks, I began walking in the park again. Mr Hoppalong had got better and began to follow me. In the weeks later, I took nuts for him from the pet shop and more squirrels started to follow me. By winter 2006, there were about 10 squirrels following me on a weekly basis during my walks and the usual three dogs sat by the side of the path puzzled at this sight. They all looked at each other as if to say " Thats a fine mess she has got herself in again".
I was walking in the park on one bright sunny day as I do. This was about summer 2006 when I worked at Worcestershire Mental Health Trust. Those were heady days when my friends at the Trust actually talked to me. Of course, thanks to the GMC in 2007, no one speaks to me from Worcestershire Mental Health Trust. This is just to show us all that despite being cleared, you ain't cleared at any Trust. That is one of the perks of being investigated by the GMC.
Ah what it is to be forced to be politically correct and to deny your friends at their time of need. Human behaviour and the caring profession is a fine thing when analysed.
Anyhow, the secretaries will remember that they laughed outloud when I told them of my antics that summer weekend. Indeed, it was a running joke that summer that accidents just seem to happen to me. First there was the damaged foot while I saved a dog from drowning in the lake then there was the Squirrel encounter.
I was minding my own business, walking in the park on a summer's morning when suddenly out of nowhere, a fat squirrel fell out of a large oak tree and crashed into the top of my head. Hell, it hurt. What is the probability of a squirrel crashing into my head at warp speed? It wasn't your average squirrel, it was a fat red squirrel. While 3 dogs sat and watched me struggled with Mr Nutty, neither offered to assist. Of course, that is what dogs do, they have a look on their face that says " Look at that silly human, she is trying to fight with a squirrel again". That is because all dogs are wiser than humans.
Anyhow, it was a surreal image, I finally grasped the squirrel in both my hands with its legs dangling everywhere. I had finally unhooked him from my hair. It looked at me and screamed and I looked at it and screamed. After we had both calmed down - he understood that I was a human and I started to realise that he was a very hurt Mr Nutty. So, I fixed him up [ useful being a doctor you see] and he pottered off quite happily. He was now a hoppalong Squirrel.
In the week that followed, I developed a severe headache and blurred vision. My family complained that I had finished the stash of cashew nuts and that I was now addicted to nuts. The point here was I couldn't face going to Accident Emergency and telling the doctor that a squirrel had fallen onto my head. I couldn't face a CT form that said " Squirrel fell on Dr Pal's head". I had dreams that this sentence would spread on the NHS Spine far and wide and soon everyone would know that Dr Pal had a concussion after a Red Squirrel fell on her head. Even worse, the GMC would know that a squirrel fell on my head. I would probably have been struck off for failing to have due regard for airborne rodents namely one squirrel in foliage free-fall. I could I have been careless as to cause PTSD in the fat squirrel who clearly appeared shocked at being tangled in my long hair.
I didn't die off but recovered quite well. The large bump on my head disappeared and I appeared normal again. I do though still eat nuts everyday.
In the later weeks, I began walking in the park again. Mr Hoppalong had got better and began to follow me. In the weeks later, I took nuts for him from the pet shop and more squirrels started to follow me. By winter 2006, there were about 10 squirrels following me on a weekly basis during my walks and the usual three dogs sat by the side of the path puzzled at this sight. They all looked at each other as if to say " Thats a fine mess she has got herself in again".
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